The Jolly Roger
by Wa Chenxi
Summary: An AU fic inspired by too much sugar and watching Grav. Be warned... pirates ahead!


The Jolly Roger  
  
By Wa Chenxi  
  
Dedication: For Teza-chan's birthday… I hope this is what she wanted. I claim absolutely no responsibility for any mental or emotional injuries that this creates. It's all Komagoru's fault. If he hadn't been such a horny plot bunny this wouldn't have turned out like it did.  
  
Prolog: the setting  
  
It was one of those peaceful midsummer days in the port town of Oyogu; the hot sun was high in the azure sky underneath which the citizens of Oyogu went about their daily business. The children were playing, the merchants selling, the workmen working. Just one normal day that was indistinguishable from the other 364 days of the year.  
  
Well, maybe not totally undistinguishable.  
  
Before dawn, the ship Nittle Grasper had docked in the port. Now a ship docking was not unusual, what was unusual about this boat was that it was its owner. You see, this ship was owned by none other than the dread pirate Ryuichi, the most famous pirate in this day and age. Ryuichi was widely known as the most ruthless and cunning pirate of them all, having pillaged and ransacked an uncountable number of merchant ships over his career as a dread pirate. However, what the dread pirate was most famous for was his penchant for dressing up his victims as rabbits as they walked the plank.  
  
And this is how our story began its innocent trip through the realm of pirate insanity.  
  
Part One: Dealing with an Irate Pirate  
  
Tohma listened patiently to his daily report on the activities of his younger brother, trying desperately to control the neurotic eye twitch that started whenever he listened to just what Ryuichi had done this time. Yesterday it had been a ship full of silks, the day before that a ship that carried fine wines, what would today be? Hopefully not a repeat of the astroglide ship.  
  
Tohma's eye was definitely twitching at the thought of what had happened when Ryuichi had come home with enough astroglide to lube up every man in Oyogu. Ryuichi had proceeded to hand it out to all his men and tell them to have a good time while on shore leave. The ensuing night had cost Tohma a lot of money to hush up, not to mention the stress of explaining to a lot of angry parents why their sons and/or daughters could not walk straight for days. Tohma could still see the father of four teenage sons screaming that his sons were not interested in guys, even though each son had a dreamy look on their face as they cuddled up with a sailor apiece.  
  
Burying his head in his hands, Tohma groaned as Ken started to list Ryuichi's latest acquisitions. Ryuichi's newfound possessions included fifty barrels of massage oil, several crates of gold jewelry, four stallions, several trunks of a young heiress' finery, a nice collection of throwing knives, all the passenger's jewels, and of course last but not least, the young heiress. Tohma knew he didn't have to worry about the young heiress, since Ryuichi was not interested in the female species, but that didn't mean there would not be some ruffled feathers to soothe among the snobbish nobility to which the heiress belonged.  
  
Of course, Ryuichi would be totally oblivious to this as he was to most things in life.  
  
Tohma could never really be angry for that long with his younger brother, Ryuichi was just too much of an innocent to be truly upset with for long. Innocent? Yes, Ryuichi was an innocent. No matter what he did, what happened to him, Ryuichi still had his childlike innocence about him. Tohma knew that the moment Ryuichi stepped in the door every few months that his heart would melt at the sight of those wide, sparkling eyes and he would instantly forgive every little trouble that Ryuichi had ever caused him.  
  
Tohma absentmindedly noticed that Ken was finished with his report and waiting to be given orders or to be dismissed. Waving his hand in the direction of the door, Tohma sighed. If only Ryuichi would behave for only a week so he could get some actual sleep and relaxation. What Tohma would give for a week of lazing around being just a merchant prince, well… not your average merchant prince to be sure since the ruthless cunning seemed to run in the family, but still a lazy week for him free of Ryu trouble.  
  
Thinking over his younger brother's penchant for chasing after young men, Tohma sent a prayer of thanks to God that Ryu didn't actually sleep around. If Ryu had slept around Tohma had the feeling he would be paying exhorbant amounts to numerous blackmailers constantly. If there was one good thing about Ryuichi it was that he didn't really seem all that interested in bedding his romances.  
  
Wait! That was the key to getting Ryuichi to behave! Tohma's head lifted sharply, an evil smirk plastered across his normally angelic face. He had found his answer to getting a Ryuichi-trouble free week.  
  
"You will agree my dear loving brother!" Tohma said with a devilish grin on his face as he rubbed his hands together in glee and began to laugh loudly.  
  
His laughs echoed down the halls of the luxurious mansion, leaving many servants and slaves to wonder what had happened to their normally composed master.  
  
*  
  
Ryuichi strode into his older brother's study, and blinked at how his brother was sitting. Normally when he came home Tohma sat stiffly in his chair with this sour look on his face that looked like he had just eaten a crate of lemons. Today was different though. Tohma was slouched in his huge leather chair with this funny little grin on his face and his eyes looked positively devious since they were gleaming with an eerie light. Tohma's clothing was even different from what it usually was, wearing the leather and silk that Ryuichi favored instead of his stuffy satin doublet.  
  
Suddenly wary, Ryuichi paused in the center of the room as Tohma inspected him.  
  
Tohma clasped his hand in a triangle before him as he took in his brother. Ryuichi was wearing a loose ivory silk shirt and a pair of supple, laced, honey brown leather pants with matching boots that came up just short of his knees and turned down in a cuff. The rich silk was open at the neck, the laces loosely tied. His brother was comfortably, but well, dressed.  
  
A small, too happy smile crossed Tohma's face as he greeted his wayward brother. "Ryuichi, have a seat."  
  
Feeling like a bird being watched by a cat, Ryuichi gulped before nervously returning his onisama's smile. "Y-You wanted to see me?"  
  
Smile becoming even larger, Tohma nodded happily. "Yes I did want to see you."  
  
Laughing nervously, Ryuichi sat down gingerly in the hard, wood chair in front of the desk. "Well…. I'm here…"  
  
Smile becoming a bit too much like a cat that had stolen all the cream, Tohma picked up his teacup which had been sitting on the desk and took a careful sip. "Ryuichi, I was wondering if you would make a deal with me," he stated calmly (that is if he was a cat eyeing a mouse in a corner).  
  
"Deal?" Ryuichi squeaked as he gripped the armrests as tightly as possible. Tohma was scaring him. What had happened to his loving onisama?  
  
Nodding his head cheerfully, Tohma put his cup down. "Yes. I want to make a deal with you."  
  
Slowly becoming the trained businessman he was, Ryuichi was very hesitant. "What is this deal about?"  
  
"I want you to behave like the rest of humanity for one week. In exchange for this one week of you behaving, I will buy you a pleasure slave of your choice." Tohma told his younger brother, praying to whatever god existed that Ryuichi would agree.  
  
Eyes going impossibly wide, Ryuichi stared at his onisama like he had grown an extra head. "A WHAT?!?"  
  
"A pleasure slave." Tohma replied calmly while taking another sip of his tea and hoped Ryuichi had not noticed the shaking of his hands.  
  
Sitting in stunned silence, Ryuichi stared at his onisama. A pleasure slave? Why would he need one of those? He didn't even like it that there were slaves, and he refused to own one. How could Tohma think that a bribe of a pleasure slave would make him want to waste his time doing things like everyone else did every day? Ryuichi knew that he may have seemed like a simpleton to many people, but he did have certain issues he stood up for.  
  
Glaring at his brother, Ryuichi literally growled his reply. "How could you ever think that I would want to humiliate another human being like that? I will never own a slave."  
  
Feeling his plans were sinking faster than Ryuichi's ship with a hole the size of a horse, Tohma changed his plan of attack. "Just because I buy you a pleasure slave does not mean that you have to keep them as a slave. You can free them or take care of them for the rest of their life. What I'm actually offering is the chance to rescue one person from a hard life."  
  
Glare lessening somewhat, Ryuichi still wasn't completely happy. "Then why don't you just buy one yourself?"  
  
Tohma had an answer ready. "Because you don't have any close companions and I thought that by choosing someone of your own free will that maybe you wouldn't be lonely when you are not home."  
  
Teetering on the brink of agreeing, Ryuichi slid towards his normal happy- go-lucky mood. "I get to pick and they will not be a slave. They will be their own self."  
  
Tohma's smile brightened as he caught the smell of victory. "So you agree to behave for a week?"  
  
Looking thoughtful, Ryuichi chewed on a fingernail as he thought the deal over. "Deal. But you get to come along. I don't want this person to feel too pressured and that way I can bug you like a normal brother."  
  
Blinking at his brother, Tohma was surprised at the deal. It wasn't what he had originally thought would happen but it was better than nothing. Nodding at his brother's agreement, Tohma stood up and grabbed Ryuichi on his way out the door.  
  
"Let us go pick out your person then." 


End file.
